Funny Bleach Episode 5
by RukiaLady94
Summary: Another funny episode. Enjoy.


Funny Bleach Episode 5 Part 1: Boys Never Learn

[Everyone`s sitting and eating right after burrying the guys]

[The guys are spying on them]

Renji: (whispers) You guys ready? I`m going in.

Soifon: Seriously. To think they would know by now that we know they`re spying on us. How lame.

Renji: Alright boys come on in. They spotted us again.

Rukia: Helloo? We are eating here.

Ichigo: You obviously aren`t eating anything `cause you`re too busy reading Yaoi magazines all day.

Rukia: Are you mocking my Yaoi, you perverted bastard?

Yoruichi: Anyways I`m going to bed. Goodnight! (slams door)

Rangiku: Why are you guys here anyways?

Grimmjow: We want revenge!

Soifon: Figures. So sad that even after all the teaching we`ve done, they still don`t get it. We women rule over all! It doesn`t get much clear than that.

Rangiku: Yeah. I mean, are you guys retarded?

Rukia: I agree.

Renji: Hey who`s side are you on?

Rukia: Do I have to spell it out for you? Isn`t it obvious that I`m on the women`s side? I mean come on, to think that having sex with me would give you a clue about what I am. What a loser.

Renji: Heeeey I thought you liked me.

Rukia: Get real. That was before I found out you were a perverted psycho.

Rangiku: At least my Hitsugaya isn`t like that. (laughs)

Soifon: Or Chad. He`s so sweet. (notices what she said and pretends as if she didn`t say anything)

[The door of Yoruichi`s room breaks open and Yoruichi flash steps in front of Soifon]

Yoruichi: Did you just say what I think you said?

Soifon: Yeah, so?

Rukia: Wow, I didn`t see that coming.

Rangiku: Awww she likes someone.

Ichigo: Oh boo-hoo. Somebody might be capable of telling Chad. (grins)

Soifon: You wouldn`t.

Ichigo: I would. (rolls eyes)

Soifon: (chokes him) I swear on all the strenght in me that if I find out you told him, I will break every single bone in your body. Is that clear?

Ichigo: (laughs) Yeah right.

[She chokes him even harder]

Soifon: You know I always keep my word, Ichigo.

Ichigo: Alright alright! Please just stop choking me!

[Soifon slowly lets him go]

Renji: So... I guess since we are here we might as well watch some videos while Grimmjow makes us some delicous popcorn.

Grimmjow: Yeah...hey! Why do I have to do it?

Ichigo: (whispers in his ears) Because that way we can poison the girls.

Grimmjow: Ooooooh. Gotcha. Well I`ll go make the popcorns now. Be back in a bit.

Rangiku: Yay! I love popcorn.

Renji: Who doesn`t.

Rukia: That`s true. What are we gonna watch, by the way?

Renji: That`s a good question...hm let`s see...what are we gonna watch...Well we can watch whatever`s on tv.

Yoruichi: Wow. How boring. I`m gonna go check on Grimm.

Ichigo and Renji: No-no-no-no!

Soifon: Hm? What the hell is wrong with you two.

Ichigo: Uh..nothing. Just uh..uh..just remembered that I had to go do something. Uh gotta go! (runs off)

Rangiku: What the fuck? Where the heck is HE going?

Rukia: Maybe he peed himself and didn`t know how to tell us.

Yoruichi: Well anyways, I`m gonna go check on the popcorn.

Renji: (thinks to himself) We are so dead. (out loud) Uh, I just remembered I forgot something. Gotta go. Bye! (runs off)

Soifon: Okay, this is getting really weird.

Grimmjow: Haha. Those bitches are gonna get it now.

Yoruichi: Oh really? Get what.

Grimmjow: WOW! Geez, you scared the shit outta me.

Yoruichi: Why? You weren`t expecting me? Girls get in here!

Grimmjow: Oh crap.

[Yoruichi pulls his ears and hits his head against the wall]

Yoruichi: What were you going to put in there? Tell me or I will scratch your eyes out!

Rangiku: What`s up, Yoruichi?

Rukia: By the looks of it I say we`ve been set up again by the same shitheads.

Soifon: You guys never learn that we OWN you. We are unbeatable, you jackass!

Yoruichi: Let me guess. It was Renji`s plan, wasn`t it.

Grimmjow: Yeah. Ow my ears.

Yoruichi: Alright, we need to come up with a plan quick! And it seems that your ''buddies'' left you for dead.

Grimmjow: Why do you say that?

Yoruichi: You didn`t think we were gonna leave you alive, did you?

Rukia: They know that we`re gonna torture you all night long.

Grimmjow: Those bastards! I`ll kick their coward asses!

Soifon: I think we got one of `em in our crew.

Rangiku: So it seems. Sweet.

Rukia: Alright, so what`s the plan.

Grimmjow: How about we tie `em up on an electric chair and torture them all night long..With electricity...

Yoruichi: That is so evil. I didn`t know you had it in ya. Well..you are an Espada after all. Welcome to the sisterhood, Grimmjow.

Rukia: I believe it`s T.T.T.K.A.

All of them: Time To Totally Kick Ass!

Soifon: Let`s get `em!

To Be Continued...

Funny Bleach Episode 5 Part 2: The Boy`s Revenge

[At the boy`s hideout]

Renji: (sigh) That was waaay too close.

Ichigo: Tell me about it. Haha. Let`s hope Grimmy finished the job.

Renji: Haha. Knowing him, he propably would have. So there`s no need to worry. (laughs)

[Outside the boy`s hideout]

Soifon: (whispers) Okay girls here`s the plan. Get in, grab them and get out without anyone noticing. Got it?

Yoruichi: Got it. I`ll go in catform (transforms) Now let`s get those creeps.

Rangiku: And I`ll stay out here on the lookout to see if anyone`s coming.

Rukia: And I`ll knock Renji out with my iron gauntlets. I got `em delivered to me yesterday, so now I can actually see how good they work. And I also brought an ice stick to poke him with on the way back. It`s icely made. (laughs)

Grimmjow: Haha. Good for you, Rukia. Now let`s go kick some ass.

Rukia: And not to mention freeze Renji`s with my stick. (laughs)

[Renji and Ichigo are laughing while reading Hentai magazines until suddenly...Soifon breaks the door open and kicks Ichigo in the stomach]

Ichigo: Ouw! (falls flat on the floor)

[Grimmjow punches Renji in the nose and knocks him out]

[Rukia pokes him with her ice stick]

Rukia: Got `em, let`s go. Oh, wait a minute. Gotta try these babies first. (punches him with her iron fists) Tee hee. These fists of mine really rock your world, Renji. (laughs)

Renji: Ouch! (passes out)

[The guys are being carried to the girl`s hideout]

[Rukia is still poking Renji with her ice stick]

Rukia: Get up, sleeping beauty.

Soifon: That`s not helping. Yoruichi, would you do me a favor and wake them up?

Yoruichi: My pleassure (scratches their faces)

[Both wake up screaming with red scratch marks on their faces]

Renji and Ichigo: AAAAAAH!

Renji: My face is burning! Damn it, Yoruichi! Rukia, stop poking me with that damn stick!

[Rukia gigles while she`s still poking him]

Rukia: Crybaby.

Ichigo: Why am I tied up? And why the heck is Grimmjow standing there doing nothing?

Soifon: That`s a good question. You guys left him behind for us to torture. But now as revenge he joined us and we are all gonna torture you like crazy.

Rukia: But we`ll go easy on you first. Right, Rangiku?

Rangiku: Right (grabs shotgun)

Renji: What The Fuck? What are you gonna do with that! (starts shaking in fear)

Ichigo: Oh My God! We are so freaking dead. (bites lips)

Rukia: Rangiku, I thought we were gonna take it easy first... (thinks to herself) But that shotgun really works.

Rangiku: Oh yeah (throws shotgun up in the air without looking)

Soifon: OUW! Rangiku! Watch where you throw those things! (rubs her head)

Rangiku: Woopsy. Sorry Soi. (gigles)

Yoruichi: Let the torture begin! (grabs remote and presses button)

Renji and Ichigo: BZZZZZZZZZZ! AAAAAAAH! STOOOOOOPZZZZZ!

Soifon: Give up yet?

[Smoke coming out of them]

Renji: (coughs) Yes.

Ichigo: (coughs) Yeah.

Rangiku: Ooooh just one more. Just for fun. (presses button again)

Both screaming: AAAAAAAAAH!

Ichigo: Why`d you freakin` do that? What`s freakin` wrong with you!

Rangiku: I really like pressing buttons. (gigles)

Rukia: Haha. I hope this is the last time you guys are this dumb enough to pick another fight.

Renji: We`ll keep that in mind from now on. So..can you untie us now?

Ichigo: Yes, please.

Rukia: Alright. (unties them)

[Renji stands up and looks at Soifon]

Renji: So are we good now?

[Soifon shoots him with the shotgun]

Soifon: We are now. Hahahahaha!

The End 


End file.
